I don’t have that many people viewing this Blog, however, if anyone comes across this blog I feel like I owe an explanation to a gap in my posting. I tell myself I started this Blog for other people to enjoy my thoughts and expressions, in reality, I started this blog for myself so that I could share all the things I enjoy and hope that maybe someone else could enjoy and learn and see my thoughts and relate in some way.Now, in all honesty, I haven’t posted because I have been going through a lot of personal changes in my life. Some amazing, some scary, some sad, and others just mundane. All these changes have left me just not taking care of myself the way I should, and not doing the things I should and have left me pretty lost in my own self-love and care and doing things that make me happy. This lack of self-discipline and love has just caused me to step away from everything in my life including my writing, my reading (which is a very huge thing if you knew me), being active and just all major things that aren’t working, sleeping and eating pretty much and all my free time was devoted to watching TV and pretty much just wasting away.The psychologist in me wants to call this a depressive state, the warrior in me wants to call it something else; anything else really, mental hibernation, relapse in self-love, a short holiday from reality. Either way, it’s been a struggle to get back to where I want to be. However, my happiness shouldn’t be dictated by the world around me and I need to take care of myself. I’m 23 and I’m letting life slip by just because I felt that happiness happened to you.
If anyone is reading this and feeling the same way or is going through something similar, I just want to say that it’s okay, and you’ll be okay; however, don’t let the world or anyone in your life dictate your happiness and it’s something you have to seize yourself and some days it’s hard and you just want to curl up in a ball and burrow deep into the earth. But when you are ready, it just takes small victories and small steps to feel better and every day won’t be easy but it will be easier.
I thought getting engaged, getting a good job, having more financial stability, making progress in my future was going to make me happy. I found out that making personal progress and taking care of myself and living in my moment is where true happiness lives. Now I’ve decided to make a comeback and share the things that excite me for whoever appreciates it, mostly for myself cause I appreciate it. It’s okay to be a little bit selfish because at the end of the day who’s really looking out for you if you aren’t looking out for yourself? I mean you could have answers for that but everyone needs to look after themselves first in my opinion. Rely on yourself, then your loved ones, then the powers of the universe. IN THAT ORDER.
So I’ll be introducing a new segment to my Blog to track my steps to happiness, these are personal and I’m not saying they will work for everyone, but they worked for me and I can’t help be share them if it could possibly help someone else in the world. and since I wrote it down now I have to do it!
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“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.” ― Audrey Hepburn